Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Terrible....Tuesdays

Well not really so terrible. I just like the way that sounded.....lol

So nothin much new goin on. Ive officially sank to an all new low. I managed to be on the comp for several hours yesterday, bouncing back and forth between youtube/ybf.com/facebook/and gmail. Im such a loser.....

Class....uuhhh yest and today went by pretty smoothly. I looked at my calender and damn near had a heart attack thinkin that we had another full week of work after this one. But then I wised up and realized work is officially over next tuesday. Ive been thinkin lately how much it must suck for the other teachers. The younger kids (I believe up to 7g) got out of school June 15th. They for some retarded reason got out before the older kids, while the rest of us are all doomed til the 30th. But here is the kicker: those teachers still have to come to work from 9-2. And all they do is check in, sit around for a bit, then holla at the cafe. That sucks ass......

Most days Im done pretty early. And after work is over, im ghost. I no longer wish to sit and chit chat with folks that #1 I cant understand half the time and #2 who barely even talk to me. I usually kinda awkardly sit at the table and drink my juice extra quick, for lack of anything else to do. The occassional head nod, or da here and there is obligatory. But im over it. Aint no point in fakin the funk.....

So Im home now. Just finished takin a nap. Nothin on TV, and my headphones were makin my ears ache so I just took a nap.

Oh, so I have like no food in my fridge...AGAIN. Ive been living on raamen noodles, eggs and waffles. So lets talk about how two weeks into JUNE, my monthly allowance was completey DEPLETED. I had to pay for my trip to Greece, but since I squandered May's monthly allowance, I had to take that money out of June's money. Then I had to pretend to be a volunteer who cared, and did a sessionon diversity for the new volunteers which set me back a whole bunch of money. Taxi fares, travel expenses. At that point, around like June 9th, I had like 120 leva in my account. Lol....Where did THAT money go....uuhhh thats all kinda fuzzy at this point......

Dippin into my amer bank account is nothin new to me. I usually only do it to buy clothes tho. But I need to do it this time to eat! Oh my frivolous nature will be the death of me im sure.....

On another note, what the hell is up with the weather? It rained yesterday, and it was so cold this mornin on my way to work. Its supposed to be chilly for the rest of the week. I remember it being extremely hot this time last year. But then again maybe global warming (or colding I should say) is catchin up to us....

oh and randomly, when I went to work earlier, there was a sign that said something about if you love yourself, forget the narcotics....I found it extremely random since there are like 3 classes left in the school cuz its the end of the year. And also, is this some new campaign to combat drug use, or was it just one of those general 'dont use drugs" kinda things....ill never fully understand this place....

Sunday, June 21, 2009

what does it all mean???

In my morose and lonesome state of being, ive been pondering the meanin of life. I know, that sounds so...deep and heavy. But its the truth folks. Ive always envied those people who seem to know what they want to do with their lives, and actually have some type of direction they are headed in, or a path to follow. Me, uumm I cant even think past a 2-week time span if that. I think its kinda cool to be free as a bird......

These are just random thoughts, but just follow me for a sec.....so I saw this pic of this girl I used to be real cool with. And I mean we were real cool back in the day. I thought she was big shit poppin at one point. But now, uumm thats a negativo!!! In the pic, homegirl was lookin mighty jacked up. Hair all fucked up, lookin like she had one too many Burger King double whoppers with bacon.... Now why she was walkin on the damn planet let alone around NYC like that is beyond me, but anyway.....Seein her like that honestly made me feel good. At my age, doin what I do, I look damn good. The friendship didnt end THAT bad, it kinda just dissipated. But she DID look horrible.....

Which brings me to my next point. I am a firm believer in "out of sight, out of mind" People you call friends who, unless they see you, could give too shits about you. And im talkin bout real friens. People you were with all the time on a regular basis. But I suppose things cant always be the same, and when things change, feelings and actions change.

I also think that people are in your life for seasons. They touch you, teach you a few things, and make you realize what they are supposed to. They play a role and then POOF, they are gone. The experience might be good and it might be bad, but you learn something from every experience, every exchange.

I guess I just feel so out the loop. I used to be really cool with a lot of people, but when i travel, its like those relationships are lost. When I was in japan, it was so difficult to stay friends with a lot of people.

Oh, ok so another random thought....grad school. Been checkin out a few things in my spare time and found this really good program Im interested in. I supose being proactive and having a plan doesnt help one bit. The program was really good, and its at a great school in NY.

Oh so to connect this whole blog and so that its not just extra random, my point was why have friends when you can just be a loner???? hahahahaha

LEarn to depend on yourself and if people are in your corner then they should be there regardless the situation or the distance. LEarn to depend on yourself.......AND finally, you can always take comfort in the fact that when things dont go your way, and you are in a rough spot, you can alway look at others and how bad they are doing to cheer yourself up. That sounded so bad, but those who know me know damn well I meant it, and that Im such a....yeah you were thinkin it, a bitch! hahahahaha

At least I know that, and Im cool with it....Lookin forward to an easy work week.

ciao kiddies

Extra Slow...

...weekend. Uuhh this monotony is really making me depressed. The past few weekends have been pretty decent, but this weekend kinda just slapped me in the face. Uuhhh I hate this....

I was thinkin to do some extra extravagant bday bash, but uumm that was a negative. G recently lost her job, so we dont go anywhere anymore. Last weekend we met up and I said we should go to the movies and lunch. She almost had a heart attack and said we couldnt do both. And since food trumps everything else in general, I was down with lunch. I havent been to the club in like a decade, and no fun has been had for a while.

So I tried to get Andrea to go out with me, but since I procrastinated and waited til the last min to ask her to chill, it didnt happen. She had plans already. We planned somethin for next weekend, and Alex might join in too.

So what is there to do when there is nothin to do?!?!?! hahaha DRINK!!!!!!! so those old tendencies decided to creep back out the woodworks. I was so bored Friday night, I was like fuckit, let me just go get this bottle of green apple vodka and get fucked up! I went right to the 24 hour place in my flip-flops and head scarf and proceeded to get my bottle, juice and a big ass bag or roasted chicken chips. I got on yahoo messenger and chatted with G, and called it a night. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooo dunzo about 1AM or later.

Saturday I woke up feelin kinda woozy and remembered exactly why I hate gettin drunk. The buzzin in your head, or loomin ache that kinda is just there. But shit, wasnt nothin else to do. And the same could be said for Sat night. I took it a lil bit easier tho.

Uumm, I better do something next weekend or its tappin the damn bottle again for me. The lush is creepin up on me yall, slowly but surely.

Happy Father's Day

A special Happy Father's Day to all those folks out there who take care of their kids and do what they are supposed to as fathers. A lot of time we often hear about the deadbeats and those men who dont do right by their children and family. Men who are actually doing what they are supposed to get overlooked strictly because they are doing the right thing. We often times like to point out what people are doing wrong. But fathers day is a nice way to celebrate the good deeds and efforts of fathers everywhere.

This is something new for me cuz my dad was never really around for me. My birthday falls on fathers day every 4-5 years and I remember wishing I had a dad to celebrate. But he was never around. He recently tried to get back in contact with me, and Im happy about that, but also wary.

In any event, I know a great dad personally, and I know he will be reading this blog, so Id like to shout out Poppa cuz he definately is the epitome of a good dad. Its not about money, its not about anything material when it comes to kids. As long as you are an example for them, and show them unconditional love, thats all they need. The rest will fall into place. And Poppa definately does this job to a T, effortlessly.

Happy Fathers Day to Poppa, and just in case you have forgotten it was today or you are Bulgarian and dont really celebrate it, it might just be nice to say thank you to your dad, or your mom for that matter. I cant remember the last time I said thank you to my mom for all the shit she has to put up with from me, but also all the times she has just been there for me to advise me and share a laugh or just be my mom. They really appreciate that kinda stuff, and so should you.

Ok, im off my soap box.....

The Cheese Stands Alone

So its test day (this past thursday). The final reckoning....Reemption day....Im settling the final score. and the only thing I can think to say, is the cheese stands alone. Its the last text of the school year for my 9g and 10g classes. All the work we have been studying for the past 2 months was in the test. So all that not paying attention, doing other work in my class, throwing a hissy fit cuz folks didnt want to do certain work. and of course on test prep days, they some stud act like they dont care. but all that has come back to bite people in the ass, and on test day, you are all alone and have to account for something.

For the 9g they had an essay. I went over with them what I wanted them to do for an opinion essay, you know, how to write the intro, and what goes in the body of the essay. The students almost had a heart attack the day I told them they would be tested on this stuff. Naturally they already know everything and I suppose they felt they didnt need to review this in class. But Im sure some folks didnt do as well and they think they did. One girl didnt even write anything but her name on the test. Altho that disappointed me a lot, I cant say I didnt expect it or was a bit surprsied. I gave the class 2 questions and they were to choose one, and write their opinion on the topic by answering a questions. For example, Do what kids see on tv effect their behavior, or when learning a foreign language, do you think it's necessary to travel to the place where that language is spoken? We went over these topics in class and im eager to see what their responses were. I feel like im gonna have to break a few hearts if the essay is not written how it should be...oh wells

So this was a decent test. There was no possible way to cheat. Especially since I had 4 versions of the test with different questions. So the first half of the class could have told the people in the second half what the questions were, but there was no guarantee they would necessarily get that question. And since it was based on opinion, there really was no way to cheat. But the 10g was a bit different.

There test was on Romeo and Juliet, and a reading we covered in the textbook. And let me just say, uumm seriously guys?!?!?! Not only did I devote one class to a test prep, covering EXACTLY what would be on the test, but the damn questions were taken DIRECTLY from the textbook. We answered questions in class and I just took those and put them on the test. And for Romeo and Juliet, all they had to do was paraphrase what several quotes said. And there wasnt THAT much stuff to study.

But as you can imagine, folks were goin above and voyond to get their cheat on. Using cell phones (WTF?!?!?) asking other people for answers...in BG as if I couldnt understand, cheat sheets. And again, I cant say I was surprised. But honestly, I was diappointed. I didnt think the test was super hard, and if folks managed to pay attention in class (1) then study just a LIL BIT (2) they would have done fine.

For this reason, I had to make 5 different verisons of the 10g test. YES I made 5 different verisons. One girl in one class actually wrote what was on her test on a sheet of paper so that she could share it with someone in the nest class (or someone who was absent that day i suspect). I caught her with it and tore it up. Its funny cuz I dont even think she did that well on her own damn test. I had to announce to the class that 1. there were several different versions of the test and that 2. the other class DEFINATELY didnt have the same test as them. This one kid kept askin this girl for answers and I would look at her with the face that said you betta not say one word! She looked at me, smiled and shrugged her shoulders as if to say I dont know.

Cheating really is pointless, esp since the test was so damn easy and was straight from the damn textbook. I have no sympathy for these lil jokers!

I hope I dont break people's hearts with their end of the year grades. I look at it like this: how you gon get mad at me cuz I give you the grade you deserve. You been comin to class listenin to music, not doin work, not takin notes, tryna cheat on the test, and expect me to give you a decent grade. Sikeeeeeeeeeeeeee, not gonna happen playa. For those students who did what they were supposed to do, you will be given the grade you deserve. Again, I have no sympathy or qualms about failin people or givin them low grades, esp since aug its on its way and ima be out this bitch......hahahahaha

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Video Fab



Maxwell-Pretty Wings

Time will bring the real end of our trial
One day there’ll be no remnants
No trace no residual feelings within ya
one day you won’t remember me

Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I can not have forever
I’ll always love ya
I hope u feel the same

Oh you played me dirty your game was so bad
You toyed with my affliction
had to fill out my prescription
Found the remedy
I had to set u free
Away from me
To see clearly
the way that love can be
When you are not with me
I had to leave, I have to live
I had to lead, I had to live

Chorus
If I cant have you let love set you free
To fly your pretty wings around
pretty wings your pretty wings
your pretty wings your pretty wings around

I came wrong You were right
Transformed your love into a lie
Baby believe me I’m sorry I told you lies
I turned day into night
Sleep till I died a thousand times
I should’ve shown you
Better nights Better times Better Days
I miss you more and more

Repeat Chorus

FYI: I recorded myself singin this song, thinkin I sounded pretty good. UM clearly that was a negative. I sounded like a cat being strangled. Um I think its time to drop the Lady Sha Sha act cuz I have no chances in this life time or the next of gettin a recording deal. I think it takes actually hearing yourself sing on a recording to realize that you cant sing at all (for those of US who this applies to). I guess this is all to the good anyway, I like wearing pants and skirts.....

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Shoe Fab

suede fuscia pumps





black leather studded pumps....sexy

Video Fab



Melanie Fiona-Give it to me right.........This is whats poppin





Divine Intervention

So at a time when it seems like EVERYBODY and THEY MOMMA is is makin an album and tryna push it, its hard to tell whats real and whats bullshit. And I am far too old at this point to be frontin like I like something when I dont. But this shit right here, is really poppin. I went to school wit this lil homey, and damn if I knew he got down like this.....Ive listened to this album, and I really like it. His flow is crazy, delivery on point, AND the tracks are so interesting. The way he uses convos/peoples words over the track as the chorus, the beats....Just sick. Make sure you download this if you want to listen to something different. And, we gotta support our folks who doing something positive and ACTUALLY have talent, talkin about something OTHER than throwin money at girls on stripper poles/how much money,jewels,ice they got/how big their rims are/car they drivin etc.



http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.limelinx.com%2Ffiles%2Feaace0adecaf68b7d7bebd531d12c0e3&h=46f9be91a236043c493a7a79473eea51
I especially like the Door Test, Hate, Memories Passed, and Damn Right.......
I wish I knew how to put the tracks on here so you could just listen to them, but anywho, go download that!!!

Beauty Shop

Well isnt this cute. I feel like Im bout to star in my own version of the Beauty Shop.......

There is a lady in town who I go to for my hair cuts. She is pretty decent, but I only go for cuts. They dont have those sit under dryers here, so my hair came out lookn so poofy and thick after she hand blow dried it one time. I told her I could braid hair and she instantly became obsessed. She kept askin me questions bout how I learned, how long Ive been braiding, and what styles I can do. She even asked if I could teach her to braid. I was kinda skeptical cuz its difficult to explain something to someone when you dont know the words to do so. I gave her my number anyway.....

She never called.....

I had a lot of split ends, so I had to holla at homegirl so she could trim my hair. I mentioned the braiding thing and she said she still wanted to learn. So we set up a date and Ive since begun teaching her how to braid hair. Its easier than I thought cuz I can just show her how to do it, but its not THAT easy cuz there is still words involved. Today we met and she had one of those manequin head things. It was super ugly....hahahaha

I stayed there about 2 hours. After we practiced together, she bought me ice cream and she, her sister, the nail lady and myself all began to talk. We talked about men, me in BG, my work, school, a whole bunch of stuff. Stuff ladies talk about when they are in a salon, minus being able to understand everything, and being able to actually speak cuz Im too busy figuring out what they hell is being said.

So then we started talkin bout ways they do hair in BG, and how they color hair (is she says I should die my hair blonde one more time im smackin her) and how they apply extentions (fake hair). Now I dont know if any of my non black readers are hip to the hair game (weaving hair, braiding hair, puttin in extentions, ways to make your hair look longer) but I sure am. She told me that they sow a clip onto a track of human hair and clip it onto the real hair. But a clip only lasts but so long, and the clips themselves are expensive, on top of the hair that costs about 250 leva. I told her that in the states we weave hair, which consists of braiding the hair neatly and tightly, then sowing on tracks of human hair to the braids. This lasts for about 3 months or so, and you can wash/style the hair anyway you like cuz its human hair. She found this all to be so fascinating.

I think it is too. She wants to learn how to do different things to the hair so that she can get more clientale and learn something new. I cant knock her for that, cuz folks gotta eat these days. Im actually really excited about teaching her all this stuff.....

One lil girl in the shop gettin her hair done, who was extra nosey and all up in our conversation askedif I was a hair dresser. I was like no boo. Get ya mind right. Then my students sister was there and we were talkin bout school. So the lil girl gon ask me what class am I in. If I wasnt flattered cuz she was implying that I looked young, I mighta smack her too for being so nosey. Thats why kids are a no-no........