I feel the same

I just read Leah's blog and it kinda hit close to home. Writing about things that you have redundantly written of already and reopening new wounds. Finding different words to express the exact same sentiments you have felt, thought of then blogged about. All to say the same damn thing: You hate teaching here!

This was me yesterday. The weather is gettin really nice out and I see the students' attendance already waning. I havent decided if thats a good thing or not, since the students who do still come, still dont do any work. hahahaha

Yesterday I attempted to introduce Shakespeare (S.) to the class. In the textbook we were suppose to go over love, so I figured we could go over a diff text then was presented in the book. I decided on Shakespeare cuz they are somewhat familiar with the story and I htought it might be fun to actually act out some of the lines. Uuumm NO. I get to my first class and a good deal of the students are missing. We go over a scene from S. and it was quite tragic. The students looked bored out of their minds and no one wanted to act out the scene. I finally decided to beg and one girl read Juliets part while I was Romeo.
The next class wasnt too much better. There were a lot more boys so I was convinced that they would want to read some lines. Uumm NO AGAIN. One chick had the nerve to say in BG after I asked if anyone wanted to read some lines in front of the class "whats the point?" Ill admit that I got kinda upset. I worked on what we would do in class all morning, looked up words, and had to print copies of S. for everyone. It costs me upwards of 5 leva to print copies and they kinda just sat there uninterested. I cant say that I was really surprised, and I dont know why this still makes me upset. But I walked out of class feeling defeated again cuz the students are just so uninterested in EVERYTHING. I suppose it doesnt really matter what I do in class and I should stop tryin to make thigns fun for them if they obvioulsy arent responding.
Moving on to my next class where the students were blatantly talking and laughing while work was on the board. I got so angry and started barkin on them. I simply said if you dont want to do work or be in this class you can leave. I will mark you present and you can go. I cant stand standing in front of a class tryin to teach while students pretend you arent even there. Its so disrespectful and makes me feel stupid.
I am so glad the school year is almost over. Im seriously countin down days at this point. I really think it so sad it has to be like this. I always think of students in other places who might actually be excited about learning english, or who really want to go to school and learn. Then I think about how lazy a lot of these kids are and how entitled they must feel to be bold enough to come to school everyday and pick and choose when they want to listen/pay attention.
For a summer project im not dare workin with ANY of the students in this school. I will not waste my time gettin up, copyin materials, walkin from my apt to the school to find that NO ONE is there or worse only 2 students showed up and all the activities Ive planned need at least like 10.
Am I making a mistake? Am I really wasting my time here? Am I just staying because I dont want to go back home?Cuz surely Ive tried puttin in 110% with nothing reciprocated.

What the hell am I doing here?